Mama Europa is a bigger ship than I expected. At first I couldn’t see anything, and then I spotted a subtle shimmering curve in the blackness. It took a moment to realize it was the hull of an enormous saucer-shaped ship overhead, camouflaged to look like empty space.
“Mama’s here,” Nia says. She sounds utterly exhausted.
All of a sudden we are surrounded by light, and steel, and a huge door is closing us off from the blackness of space. The ship sets down on the floor of a circular hangar, and I peel my sweaty fingers off the yoke and shut down the engine.
“Hangar atmosphere has normalized,” a woman’s voice says through the communication system. “It’s safe to exit your shuttle. Welcome home, Nia and friends.”
We stumble out of the hot, humid atmosphere of our cramped ship into the cool dry air of the hangar and tear off our pressure suits, gulping in the fresh oxygen. Nia is unconscious now, hanging limp in Mace’s arms.
“Where’s the medical supplies?” Jovi wonders aloud. “I’m no doctor but I do have nurse training.”
“The medical station is in quadrant A,” responds the helpful voice of Mama E.
“Ooookay, could I get some directions?”
A line of flashing red lights in the floor points to one of the doors.
“If you require any further assistance, I am here for you.”
“Thanks…Mama.”
“You can call me Europa, if you like.”
“What a polite spaceship,” Mace says, before he follows Jovi, Newton, and Clyde through the door.
I turn to my mom. “I’m sorry, you should never have been here.”
“I don’t know how you got us into this, my memories are horribly fuzzy, but I know I’m here because you’ve always looked out for me and you would never leave me behind. That’s good enough for me.”
I give her a hug. “Well I’m glad we got you out safely. So, what did Hector and Hermes do?”
“I don’t know. We were passing around the bong and they asked if it was okay to join my mind to the group. It was incredible, they were all talking to each other, not just the twins but all the others too, inside their heads. Jovi noticed something was wrong, the twins started pulling on things and it felt like my brain unraveled. And then everything snapped into focus.”
We’re just leaving the hangar to join the others when red lights flash everywhere and the ship’s voice announces a proximity alert.
“Europa, can you direct me to the bridge?” I ask.
“Sure, simply follow the blue lights.”
We follow them down a couple hallways and then up a flight of stairs, to a room topped with a dome of glass in the center of the ship. We can see in every direction, and I quickly spot a small military shuttle hovering motionless nearby. There are no other ships in view, neither visually nor on the radar.
“As you are the only humans on the bridge,” Mama Europa says, “I am granting you temporary captain’s privileges for this emergency. Your options include EMP, vaporizing the craft with lasers, nuclear strike…”
“Nuclear strike, Jesus. Europa, can you contact the vessel on a secure channel?”
“The craft appears to be equipped with a quantum decoder, which is probably how they tracked your emergency signal. I can send a message through it. What would you like me to say?”
I think hard for a moment. “Europa, tell them to flash their floodlight twice if they’re with Daniel Zaveri.”
“Message sent. Is that all?”
“Just wait.”
Nothing happens. A minute later Europa says, “They sent a response. Here is the response: ‘fuck that dude’.”
“Okay, tell them if they need our assistance, flash their floodlight three times.”
“Message sent.”
A light on the front of the shuttle flashes three times.
“Europa, please bring them into the hangar.”
“Would you like me to disable their doors just in case?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Mom and I exchange looks. “I’ll check them out,” I say, and I head back down to the hangar.
When the shuttle is brought in, I can see two apparently very young men at the controls, who wave at me enthusiastically. I remember the pistol in my suit’s holster and retrieve it, although I don’t feel much better carrying it. I hold it loosely by my side to be ready but not threatening.
“Ok Europa, you can let them out.”
The shuttle ramp lowers and the boys step out. “What is this amazing ship?” one of them asks. “We couldn’t even see it from outside!”
“First tell me what you’re doing here.”
“Ah, sure! I’m Franklin and this is Chance, we’re dishonorably discharged gay space cadets who stole my dad’s shuttle to avoid being sent to the uranium mines on Ceres.”
I raise my eyebrows and Chance gives me an embarrassed little grin. “You were at the academy training under Daniel Zaveri?” I ask.
“Yeah, that guy made us jump off a cliff,” Chance said. “I had a panic attack.”
I relax a little. “I was there…almost fifteen years ago. Hated it so much. Is there still a stash of weed hidden in the showers?”
“Oh man,” Franklin says, “you’re telling me we could’ve got out of there with a stash? Damnit.”
“Don’t worry, our captain is a drug smuggler.”
“You’re not the captain?”
I laugh. “No, she’s getting medical care right now. I’m just a passenger like you.”
“Better a passenger than a prisoner!” Franklin gives me a wide smile. “By the way, we’ve got an antimatter bomb on board, thought we might offer it to your captain as a gesture of goodwill.”
“You…what?”
“So, my dad is kind of a big deal in the Martian military, and this is his shuttle that we stole, and we have one of two prototype antimatter bombs on board because he was about to personally deliver it to the cruiser that would test it on Pluto.”
“Oh my god it’s true.”
“You heard about that? It’s a pretty high-level secret.”
“I know a guy. Ok, let’s go see the captain.”
We find Nia awake and angry, naked from the waist up and yelling at Mace to leave. He looks at me, shrugs, and steps out of the room. Jovi drops a shirt on Nia’s lap with a loud sigh. “I need a drink,” she says, and follows Mace.
Nia glares at me. “What are you looking at? And who are these kids? I don’t remember them.”
“New passengers we picked up, they’re also on the run. Expelled space cadets. Would…you like me to help you with your shirt?”
“I would like to fuckin’ do it myself Jayce!”
“But…you can’t.”
“Yeah no shit,” she mutters. “It’s infuriating.”
“I’m sorry.” I stand by her bed and pick up the shirt. “I’ve got your back, captain.”
She chews on her lip and a couple tears slide down her cheek. “How can I be a captain if I can’t put on my own shirt?”
“Your mind is as capable as ever and we need you. We can be your hands and feet. But none of us have the head to captain this ship.”
“Ok, Jayce, will you put my fuckin’ shirt on already.”
I do so, as carefully as I can. She gasps a bit when I lift her shoulders.
“Sorry.”
“It’s not nearly the most painful thing right now,” she says. “Stop apologizing.”
“Yes captain.”
“Now help me up so I can greet my new passengers with a bit of dignity.”
I sit on the bed beside her and prop her up. Franklin and Chance approach, still staring at their shoes.
“Welcome aboard the Mama Europa, I’m your captain, but you can just call me Nia.”
“We brought a gift,” Franklin says. “One of two prototype antimatter bombs in existence.”
“Wait, those are real?”
“They are now.”
Nia stares at the wall and chews her lip a moment. “Thank you. My first officer will show you to your rooms.”
“Room,” Franklin says. “Singular. Just one please.”
Nia smiles. “Ok, I appreciate the efficiency. You’re free to look around, only rule is stay off the bridge and out of the cargo areas.”
“Who’s your first officer?” I ask.
“You are, Jayce. Get to it.”
I gently lie her back down. “Aye captain.”
“Just a passenger eh,” Franklin says with a grin as we step out.
“I was until a second ago.”
“Man, you’ve got a cool captain.”
“Okay, rule number two, don’t call me man. Or anything similar.”
“It’s just an expression…” He catches my glare. “Ok, got it. What should I call you?”
“Jayce will do for now.”
~
Later that day when I return to the hangar to get our meager luggage out of the ship, I find Nova’s body sprawled over the bags, which are now coated in blood. I check on Ceto, who is still just as dead to the world.
“Hey Europa, will you let Jovi know her mostly dead friends are still here?”
“Jovi is drunk,” Europa says. “Absolutely sloshed. So is Mason, they’re both in his quarters right now making out and groping each other.”
“Ok, I don’t need to know that.”
I carry Nova and Ceto to their rooms myself.
~
Nine days later, we enter orbit over the yellow skies of Titan. I can’t stop staring at the giant rings of Saturn. Nia acts like it’s no big deal, but I catch her gazing out the windows more than once.
We leave Mace, Newton, Clyde, and Chance behind, and the rest of us take Franklin’s shuttle down to the surface. Ever since Ceto woke up, a couple days after we left Mars, she has remained alone in her room, and still doesn’t seem keen on human interaction.
Nova resurrected the next day, just as Gavin said they would, and we could hear their screaming from every part of the ship. They never make eye contact with anyone and barely speak. I wish I knew how to help.
As we descend through the clouds, we receive a message from a vaguely robotic voice. “Greetings, travelers, you are entering the Titan Nature Preserve. If you are disembarking, you must proceed to your designated landing pad at the spaceport and present all crew members and biological entities for decontamination. Your assigned landing pad is number five. Do not disregard this message or you may be subject to arrest and extradition to Earth under System Code 27, Chapter 9.”
We land on the designated pad, and are met by a small robotic guide that leads us to the decontamination showers. Mom and Jovi help Nia shower and when we’re all done and dressed in the soft gray clothing provided for us, we sit in a waiting room for a few minutes.
A door opens and a man with oddly shiny skin steps in. “Sharma Haskel will see you in five minutes,” he says.
“I’m right here, my dear time-challenged android,” a voice says behind him, and he steps out of the way.
A tall, impossibly old woman strides in. Despite her apparent age she carries herself like she’s no older than me. She spots Nia propped up between my mom and me and approaches us. “You must be Tony’s girl,” she says. “Last time we met, you were about ten years old.”
“I remember,” Nia says. “I just turned eighteen on the way here, and I’m captain of Mama Europa now that dad…is gone.”
“Losing Tony is devastating, but you’ve grown into his shoes.”
“I can’t walk in them, though.”
“And you’re hoping I can help.”
“Dad said you could work miracles. He may have called you a powerful witch.”
“There’s a fair bit of distance between what I do and miracles. I can’t promise anything, but I will help you.” She raises one hand and makes a sign with her fingers, and the android enters with two others. “My children will take you to the operating room and prepare you for surgery.”
When they’ve carried Nia out, Sharma sits between me and my mom and puts an arm around my shoulders. “Nia will almost certainly never walk again,” she says. “If I had seen her immediately after the injury, perhaps, but at this point not even my technology can restore the full use of her body. I may be able to give her some feeling, perhaps limited movement in her hands. Beyond that, she will need to rely on friends and technology. I wish I could do more.”
“Whatever happens,” I say, “her crew will always have her back.”
“She’s fortunate to have you.” Sharma turns to my mom. “And you’re fortunate to have such a kind, generous child.”
My face feels so hot I’m sure I’m bright red.
Sharma stands and walks to the door, then turns and motions for me to come before she silently leaves the room. I glance at my mom and then follow.
“I know you have so many questions,” Sharma says, as we slowly walk down a long hallway. “But there is one weighing on you like death.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I have lived nearly two hundred years, and many like you have sought my help. I see all of them in you, now, in your weary eyes. Your soul is screaming for freedom.”
“I’ve always dreamed of an impossible life. Am I not stuck…like this?”
“There is a way out, if you’re brave enough to take it. A way that has been outlawed by the illegitimate authorities of this solar system.”
I stop and face her. My belly aches with fear and anticipation. “Are you telling me I can be a woman? For real?”
She nods vigorously with a wide, crooked smile. “Women like you and me—yes dear—we have been changing our bodies by manipulating hormones for millennia. In the twentieth century, medical science began learning how those hormones work, and eventually we learned how to grow new body parts from our own cells. Out of fear and hatred they banned us from using this miraculous technology, and hunted us down, but they couldn’t find all of us. Nobody knew about me, so I played them for fools across generations, building this sanctuary with their resources. To the outside world I am merely the respected guardian of the unique life found in the lakes of Titan. To the hunted and broken, I am the home and healing they cannot find elsewhere.”
My legs feel weak and I lean against the wall as she explains how it works. I knew the basics of sex hormones, but I never knew how much they could change me as an adult. Why was I never taught about this? Sharma describes how she can shape my body into the same form it takes in my dreams. I can even have ovaries that make my own estrogen. And a uterus. I could carry a child. I cannot wait.
“Have you chosen your own name, friend?”
I did, from the author of my favorite book as a child, and it’s a secret I’ve kept for almost thirty years. “My name is Meriah.”
“You should tell your mom.”
~
The surface of a small moon disgorges a cloud of shattered metal, dust, and blood, as an efficient robotic force tears through a human fleet. Admiral Damiene Monette watches from her armored land crawler, disabled by an EMP blast. There is nothing to be done. Enemy reinforcements came sooner than hers, and that decided the battle.
They hadn’t even come here to fight. She’d taken a small ship along with a few dozen scientists to scout possible locations for a military outpost on the moons of Neptune. The machines took them by surprise, at first a small scavenging party that was farther from the Kuiper Belt than they’d ever been detected. And then, somehow, they summoned a full battle squad within minutes.
Damiene touches the broken screen of her communicator. A drop of blood falls on it and she wipes it away. The device remains dark. So much for the message she promised herself she would send Florie someday.
She sits cross-legged on the floor, staring out at the enormous curve of the planet rising into view as the moon rapidly rotates. Rays of bluish light cut through the billowing dust, highlighting the bodies that float together into space.
A voice from the vehicle’s short range radio startles Damiene. She stands and hits the transmit button. “Repeat,” she says. The word sounds loud and heavy in her ears.
“Admiral, this is Captain Macy. We will reach your position in two hours.”
“You’re too late, they got here first. They must have a new base at Neptune that we didn’t know about.”
There is a long silence, during which Damiene watches the last of her team being obliterated.
“I’m so sorry,” Macy said at last.
“Yeah, well, it’s one battle. Make sure you win the rest of them for me when you’re promoted to my position.”
“You sure you can’t hang on?”
“Even if they don’t kill me, my crawler is disabled and leaking oxygen. I won’t last two hours.”
One of the machines climbs out of a nearby crater and stalks toward her, long metal claws cutting into the soft ground. Damiene ducks behind the seat with the radio’s handset. “One thing,” she whispers. “A message for my sister Florence. Just tell her I never blamed her and I’m sorry. She’ll know what you mean.”
“I’ll--”
A shockwave shatters the windshield and the air rushes from the vehicle, along with all sound. Damiene rises to her feet and stares down the empty black lenses of the machine’s camera eyes. It fires a metal dart through her chest. She watches the red spill down her blue and white uniform, chokes for breath and tastes blood.
Warm hands touch her shoulders, turn her around, and lay her gently on the floor. The last thing she sees is blazing yellow eyes, like a pair of tiny suns, in the face of a man standing over her. The last thing she hears is her own heartbeat, thudding to a stop.
Then it starts again.
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